The Longest Yard: Then, Now and Somewhere Else

The Longest Yard (Original)

            This is a funny and hilarious classic tale of Paul Crew (Burt Reynolds, Smoky and the Bandit) a defamed NFL quarterback, barred for shaving points, who finds himself living off his wife who he can’t stand. One day she upsets him so that he goes on a wild drunken ride of mayhem, and sufficiently pisses off the cops that he lands in jail for a long time.

            There is confronted with the idea of coaching the guards prison league football team, or suffering a great deal for defying the warden. He is tricked into having to decline, and then offers the warden a compensation: a tune up game.

            He then turns to training all the prisoners into a team to play the guards. At first fueled by revenge, the prisoners begin to look more and more like a real team under the leadership of Crew, and then tragedy strikes, and caretaker, the team manager, gets hit and killed. The team is distraught.

            It’s up to crew to take them into the game and lead them to victory. This is a classic beef-cake roll for Reynolds, and it’s a hilarious 70’s style comedy, reminiscent of the Mel Brooks Movies of the time. Like the Blazing Saddles of football movies. 2, and well worth a trip into the film vault.

The Longest Yard (Remake)

            This is a remake of the original. It’s a lot different, even though it follows almost the exact same plot, structure and devices. This one is also fueled by some major major Hollywood talent. Paul Crew (Adam Sandler, Click), football villain, runs out on his wife (Courtney Cox, Scream) and gets arrested in a hellraiser car chase. He winds up in a dusty Texas Prison, where the warden (James Cromwell, LA Confidential).

            He runs into Caretaker (Christ Rock, Beverly Hills Ninja) and they begin the plot of the original. The noteable differences are Michael Irvin and Nelly as the afircan American players, as well as the guards and some of the prisoners are all played by some Professional Wrestlers.

            The twists and turns, the little references back to the original, and the modern setting are all great. It’s a really charmning adaptation of a classic, and brings to light some more modern settings, though I think for the uninformed, it is a bit of a non-sequitur in some instances.

            The whole thing is really packaged well, and is a great and fascinating expose of comedy.

It’s a lot of fun, with a real group of winners. 2.

Mean Machine

            This British version of the film listed above is based around English football, or soccer as we call it in the states. It's got some lovely character work by Vinnie Jones (Snatch) and Jason Statham (The One), Ian McShane (Deathrace) as well as a host of other Brits. It lacks some of the inside flurishes that the remake has, but makes up for it in original construction and character development.

Overall, it's a really fun movie, and a necessary adaptation for the rest of the world to appreciate and understand without the confusion over sport. Easily rewatchable and fun. 2.