Radical is kinda bland

Radical by David Platt fits nicely into the milieu of missional emerging breakout primitivist church dogma, but really, it's kinda bland. There's nothing particularly radical about his proposals. This is another book written by a megachurch institution that wishes it reached people who oppose church the institution.

There still doing church like it's 1985, telling you it's like it was in 85, and that by 2015, everyone will be doing it this way again.

Short term outreach can be very good, but 80% of the time it is very bad. And so as a hallmark of his churches missional expression, I have to protest.

It's easy to write a book and say "the problem with the church is sin." But then you're completely overshadowing your own woundedness and deficiency.

One thing he does point out and is at the same time guilty of is doing church in the culture of professionalism, and the Babbit-styled production line is really what most churches tout themselves as, and all they do is play into the military industrial complex.

The best chapter deals with the gospel being for the lost and the lost's american inoculation to the gospel of the common church. True. I wonder what the missional walk looks like in a mega church in the deep south. It doesn't look like this book where I am from.

This is a fantastic book on the theory, and as most missiologists are guilty of, it does a superb job of identifying cultural markers, and then blows by them in pursuit of a monochromatic gospel. The real test of a radical gospel is stopping business as usual. What Mr. Platt seems to say is that there aren't really churches in America, there are only corporations in the field of religion. What he fails to realize is this applies just as much to his church as anyone else.

Toys

This is a classic tale of the Zevo toy company. When the owner passes away, he has the options of leaving it to either his brother, Gerneral Zevo, or his blessed innocent son, Leslie (Robin Williams), who is aided by his sister, Alisacia (Joan Cusack). The general, though extremely edgy about minding the toy factory, decides to do it and ends up taking over the toy company, and perverting it’s innocence minded production into a war-game frenzy.

He also turns the plant into a prison, who’s security is air tight, headed up by his very own son, a master of camoulflage (LL Cool J). So Leslie is trapped between the airtight security and defending his Father’s vision, which is so poorly represented in the aims and thoughts of the general.

He also must prove he is serious about opposing the general in order to continue seeing the beautiful and wacky girl in the duplicating office (Robin Wright).

The climax is one of hilarities, and extremely bizarre, but this is a good movie, with lots of humour and some truly strange plot devices.

I give it a two, but it’s not the best Rbin Williams flick.

Traitor

Don Cheedle (Reign Over Me) plays a phenomenal role in this film as he has truly developed into a leading man after such films as Hotel Rwanda. He plays a double cover agent, basically a former CIA poperative who has converted to Islam and joined al-Qaeda, however, he is really playing the whole thing off as a spin to intercept intel and mismanage al-Qaeda resources and ops.

The plot circles around him gaining credibility by staging various terrorist acts and playing shadow games with al-Qaeda to make them believe they are truly making a difference, inciting terror, while the actual efforts are geared towards coordinating planted bodies, identifying non-targets to spin as targets.

The two way nature of his mission makes him, much like Mother Night, a prime target to become collateral damage as he may be mistaken for a genuine terrorist. TO be perfectly honest, this movie was engaging and entertaining, but I really don’t remember the specifics and details, and if someone suggested it, I’d probably just say that I had already seen it.

It’s got rewatch value, but it’s very much a action, plot twist, thriller movie without much depth or meaning, other than the whole debate over what an identity truly is, and how one can preserve ones self. 

The whole thing is fun, and goes by really quickly, so I give it a 2, and enjoyed it a great deal, but it’s not like a cinematic genius or anything.

Tough Love

This is quite a film. I think it was a TV movie, but it’s really quite captivating. Young Gary (Chris Patric) is a promising kid who seems to make every bad decision in the book. A Junior in High school, he gets a job and nice car with the help of his trusting father. Little does his dad know that Gary is a pothead. 

Christin is also a doper, and a constant runaway, who abuses her mother constantly. The two are in love, and do all sorts of drugs together. While Gary’s parents are totally naïve and always try to give their son the benefit of the doubt, Christin’s mother has had enough and has joined a Parent support group called Tough Love. It’s a support group for parents of out of control teens. 

Soon Gary’s parents join tough love. Christin dies of a drug overdose, and Gary quickly descends from recreational user to hardcore junkie. After numerous interventions, being kicked out of the house, and arrested and stuck in Juvenile detention, Gary learns the true meaning of tough love.

It’s a B-ish movie, but, I found it worth the watch, and captivating in a way. It’s an interesting chronicle of modern parenting, and how far we’ve gone from discipline, and defined love. Parenting is definitely gone from our society, so it was refreshing to see a movie that looks at it. See also Parenthood. 2.

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen

In some ways I really did not like what they did with this. The plot did not follow a traditional reboot, and the characters were all brought back in a classic serial retcon. Rather than passing the torch to Starscream and bringing him in to his own right, much in the tradition of Ethan Hunt from the Mission Impossible franchise, they simply discover a way to bring Megatron back from the Dead.

The new plot, like so many alien movies centers around the aliens first contact with primitive humans and  a regime of decepticons which mistreated and enslaved humanity, so basically, this was Stargate with cars that talk.  The genius of Transformers is of course, the fact that there is a distinct nostalgia to the characters, and the powerful action scenes which are truly flawless in their integration with CG. 

The Retcon of the human interaction, including Sam’s (Shaya LaBouf, Disturbia) sudden connection to all knowledge of the transformers as well as the horribly poor dialogue which stands in stark contrast to the witty banter of the first movie along with Megan Fox’s incessant sexual pandering is really enough to make an average viewer turn it off, but the comic violence of giant robots really makes any movie worth watching. This is simply put, a popcorn Michael Bay (Bad Boys) movie, and so it’s a 2 for action, but if you wont’ anything else, don’t pick it. The action sequences should definitely be worth it for anyone.

Transformers

Every boy’s childhood dreams come to life in this movie. This is an epic stage of massive robots fighting for control of a distant world, and earth is the venue. We begin in Iraq where a mysterious chopper lands with no markings. Soon we learn, it’s no chopper at all.

Flash to southern California, a somewhat geeky young man begins to suspect all is not well with the used car he just purchased. Flash to the Pentagon where a team of analysts has been assembled to idenitify the signals that attempted to hack the military datalink in Iraq. 

Led by the secretary of state (John Voigt, Midnight Cowboy) this team must discover who is trying to attack the US. But it’s not the US that is being attacked directly, it is a mysterious government organization known as Sector 7. They hold the key to both the autobots and decepticons saving or destroying their homeplanet. Soon Optimus Prime and Megatron show up, and the ultimate battle begins.

This is such a rich story to tell with the classic archetype characters, framed against some rather strange and eccentric human characters. An ensemble cast featuring John Turturro (One-eye Jimmy) and Hugo Weaving (Lord of the Rings) leads the way in this fun yet serious epic action comedy. All the cars are sweet GM models as well, so if you like cars, make this 2 a priority.

Triple X

This is a highly overrated action movie. It stars the Vin Diesel (Chronicles of Riddick) before he learned how to act. His character, Xander Cage is an extreme sports athlete mogul, turned underground bad boy via the World Wide Web. He runs into trouble after stealing a Senators car and using it to base jump a ravine.

Enter good actor. Samual L. Jackson (Sphere) wins every scene he is in, and saves the movie from being a complete piece of crap. He plays an NSA agent assigned to crack certain international crime organizations (Which is a little strange, since the NSA is a home surveillance entity). He has XXX arrested and put through a series of tests, and finally approves him as a secret agent to crack a Russian Anarchy group in Prague.

What follows is a sequence of sexual encounters at the Russian base, as well as various far-fetched action sequences which have nothing to do with real life. Eventually, XXX finds himself fighting through Russians that want to kill off cities using chemical warheads. This movie sucks, but Samual L. Jackson is amazing. Severe 1.

Thie is Spinal Tap

This is the ultimate mockumentary. There are some of the funniest moments in film history in this movie. Particularly featuring Nigel Tuffnel, as he goes on about music. He writes a musical trilogy with influences from Mozart and Bach, which he says combines into a “Mach” feeling, and he has all this artistry. And he calls it “Lick my Love Pump”. 

Another classic scene, Nigel explains that usually, amps usually only go to 10 in volume, but Spinal Tap has amps that go to 11, and so it’s amazing, because it’s a whole 1 louder. And he also instructs the documentor to stop looking at a brand new guitar.

The whole package spoofs in many ways the rock and Roll scene, and the idea that bands could go on long rolling tours, and cover a span of decades, much like the Rolling Stones. It’s also a spoof in general of the music industry, and how absurd some of the label and industry standards are. 

Finally, this movie covers the spoof of celebrity. It’s absurd to think of fame, or success in terms of celebrity. Celebrities used to be politicians, and now they’re TV stars. Actors used to live in the ghettos.

This is great. 2. Christopher Guest (Best in Show) directs and stars in a masterpiece.

Van Helsing

This movie starts out well, and makes use of a cliché plotline that isn’t too overdone, and Hugh Jackman, though becoming rather typecast, does an excellent job as the soulless bounty hunter, Van Helsing. This movie is an attempt to bring together the Wolf man, Dracula, and the Monster of Dr. Frankenstein. In some senses, they are trying to pack in too much. The end all plot is that Dracula tries to bring his offspring to life instead of bursting into pussy little former embryos. And he needs Frankenstines formula to do that. I actually forget the significance of the wolfman, other than her is the servant of Dracula. Very Weird, and I didn’t really like the plot, particularly the incorporation of Frankenstein. 

Action wise, and as always Hugh Jackman does a great job, and the idea of Van Helsing a soulless man who fights evil in every place through out history is very fascinating, but used in this context, I found it rather disappointing. Kate Beckinsale plays the Romantic Interest and an equal in vampire hunting prowess, but dies at the end, which is very unformulaic and I was glad to see them step outside the box. 

All in all, this movie was lacking, but a fun cheap action flick with a slightly overcomplicated plot. This movie is also a tribute to the three monsters in question and the dir3ector studied the movies of Boris Karloff, Bellow Lugosi and Lon Cheney, and so in the presentation of the monsters, particularly the vampires I was quite pleased.

This movie is still a 2, because it is worth seeing. I think I definitely prefer other vampire movies to this oe however, including Underworld, Interview with a Vampire, John Carpenters Vampires, and Bram Stokers Dracula. Actually, this was better than John carpenters and had an element of realism despite the drastic and crazy fantasy world. I liked it.

Vantage Point

This is actually a very fascinating take on a film. It is about a 15 minute sequence of events which is told through a variety of characters and from several different points of view until the entire thing is woven together and brought to the point where you can see the whole thing and what’s really going on.

We follow some very amazing actors, too as the event unfolds as an attempted assassination of the president (William Hurt, Lost in Space) who is being protected by a secret serviceman (Dennis Quaid, The Rookie) and there’s a young father with a video camera (Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland) and a lot of other people involved.

That’s really all I can say, we watch this assassination 4 or 5 times and pretty soon you piece it all together, it’s slightly predictable, but very good in it’s execution, and that’s generally what matters with films, is the execution.

Not a while lot to say, 2.

Unforgiven

This movie is incredible. It is literally the quintessential Western. It’s  as most Clint Eastwood (Million Dollar Baby) films go, a hard hitting moral expose on a particular issue. This actually looks at the slant of morality in movies as a good thing. It’s like The Quiet Man, except in the end the quiet man snaps and kills a bunch of people. 

Eastwood stars as William Munny, reputed thief and murderer, of a mean and distemperate disposition. Long since cured of wickedness by his deceased wife, a kid comes by his farm one day in hopes of coaxing William into accompanying him to kill the men who assaulted a whore in Big Whiskey, Wyoming. Soon they’re joined by Ned Logan (Morgan Freeman, Million Dollar Baby), Munny’s old partner. 

To overcome the men they are being paid to kill, they will also have to overcome the sheriff of the town, “little” Bill Daggett (Gene Hackman, Narrow Margin). His cruelty is illustrated in a vignette about a man named English Bob (Richard Harris, Onece Upon a Time in the West). It’s a crazy and remarkable story about the ethics of killing in a time before they were really addressed. Daggett is also an incompetent Carpenter, which reveals a lot about his psychological make up.

The saddest scene is when the kid kills a man, and then is filled with remorse. It’s so strange to watch them go through the experiences that are common place to the Western, and see them genuinely be changed. The most powerful scenes follow immediately, as William is changed and transforms from William Munny, Farmer, to William Munny, Dude. The Suit of armor is a noticeable trend to Eastwood, who plays off his earlier western persona’s  and gains a physical, visual suit of personhood. He beceoms the Darker person. Simply incredible. A Definite 2

Under Siege

This is perhaps Steven Seagall’s (The Glimmer Man) most famous film. It also stars Tommy Lee Jones (The Fugitive) and Gary Busey (Soldier) as Seagall plays the cook on a warship in the Navy. This cook used to be a Navy SEAL, however, and when the ship is taken over, complete with it’s 24 Tomahawk nuclear warheads, He’s the only one who can be counted to save everyone else.

That’s basically it, it’s a standard action kung fu gun movie, with a little nudity, and lots of swearing. Jones is brilliant as an over the top terrorist, and Busey as always is great with the cussing and shikanery. It’s a real fun 2 action flick. I also like On Deadly Ground. 

I’m not sure what else to say. Steven Seagall kills a lot of people, and saves even more. The final fight between him and Jones is actually really well done.

Used Cars

This movie is really a classic b-movie. It’s got Kurt Russell (The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes) as a man who is the best used car salesman in the county. He’s caught in a dealership war between two twin brothers, and is constantly scheming to make money, but not upset the balance.

Like many b-movies, this plays as a series of 3 vignettes. There’s the vignette about interrupting the television signal, and accicdentally showing the naked woman ( a popular penthouse spread at the time) and the vignette about false advertising and teaching kids to drive in mexico, and of course the vignette about the owner dying and trying to fake like he’s still alive, until you can find his estranged daughter so his eveil twin brother doesn’t inherit his dealership.

These vignettes play themselves out in a ridiculous and slapstick manner, which is comical, but not that great. I enjoyed watching this movie, but I really wouldn’t recommend it, or rewatch it. It’s just not really worth it. 1.

Ultraviolet

Before I say anything about this movie, I want to say, worst visual effects ever. EVER. The cityscapes and horizons in this movie are the worst CG I’ve ever seen. Jurassic Park was better and that was made 14 years ago. They hardly had PC’s back then. Literally. Not all the effects were bad, and in a charming way it took on the likeness of a Comic Book without being like the fruity Joel Schumacher (Dir. Batman Forever) vision of comic-scapes. But seriously…do not hire whoever they hired.

Aside from that, the plot was quite enjoyable, though a little vague at times. Milla Jovovich (Resident Evil) plays a sadly typecast, but still enjoyable saviour character, as Violet Song Yi Sharriff. Her voiceovers are tacky, but her delivery is sometimes quite charming, particulary when asked why she is stealing government property, she responds, “Because I hate humans, with every fiber of my being.” It’s actually quite chilling.

She is of course hemophage, a human turned into a Vampire-like human because of a blood disorder created by a government run genetic engineering program. She gets all the perks, though, including superhuman strength, speed, senses, but she has to drink blood to survive. Sadly, the vampire angle is downplayed a lot, and is nothing like Underworld.

She has stolen a government weapon which turns out to be a genetically engineered child who’s DNA may be used to destroy humans, in an odd plot twist. The visuals are quite beautiful at times, and the fight scenes are quite cathartic, particularly one in which Violet takes on 18 men with pistols, and uses only her bare hands.

The fight scenes are quite good, on par with Kung Fu Hustle, and quite comic bookish in their own right. The plot is week, but does enough to keep you interested if you care at all. There is also a great performance by Michael Fichtner (The Postman) as Garth, who is similar to the Cane character in the blade trilogy.

Zero Effect

For this, my 100^th Movie Review, I have chosen to do my all-time favorite movie. This is not the best movie in any particular way, but it just strikes my fancy in a certain way, the characters and the dialogue are amazing, and I could watch it over and over again and never get tired of it, seeing brand new things every time. The chemistry between all the actors is amazing, really.

Bill Pullman (Independence Day) plays the incomparable Darryll Zero, a modern Sherlock Holmes, complete with queer manner and opium addiction. Ben Stiller (Zoolander) plays his totally normal legal assistant, who works as his liaison for all public work. The Private Investigation world is ruled by Zero, he is the man. Ryan O’Neal (Paper Moon) is Gregory Stark, the next client, and “someone is holding something BIG over this guys head”. As it turns out, the lead suspect (Kim Dickens, Mercury Rising) is also the perfect match for the hapless Zero, king of cool on the job, but not much of anything any other time. 

The romance, comedy, detective story, and drama is in perfect balance, and there are so many quotables that I find myself saying, not to quote the movie, but just because that’s how real life sounds. Amazing. I can really only give it a 3 on a scale of 1-2.

World Trade Center

This is a powerful and rich exploration of the human factor in any kind of tragedy or disaster. I would pair this up with Castaway as some of the most unique idea’s behind filmmaking. It starts morning of September 11^th, 2001, and follows a crew of port authority cops.

Nicholas Cage (Snake Eyes) plays the sergeant, and this is actually his first return to intense drama since Leaving Las Vegas, unless you count Captain Corelli’s Mandalin.. Which I don’t.

As the towers are hit, the port authority go to work, getting extra gear and preparing to mount the tower and rescue people. However, at that very moment, the tower collapses. Burying all the men. 3 survive, and one is killed in the aftershock. The two men, crushed under slabs and bleeding internally, converse to keep eachother awake.

It is a rare glimpse of humanity, as they pray, cry, yell, and do many other things in an intense and crazy situation.

In other ways, other people, including former marines, school teachers, and children are all affected. It’s amazing to see the true to life ideas that Oliver Stone (Dir. Natural Born Killers) brings to the screen in what I would call a definite comeback film since his last few movies, (Alexander) have really stank.

All in all, this is a quite amazing movie, and has some of the best pacing, and affecting I’ve seen in a movie. Certain 2, and makes me want to watch Stone’s work again.

White Noise

This Bizarre thriller deals with a strange documented phenomenon where supernatural communications are perceived through detuned radio and video equipment. Static and Snow reveal images, and voices, from what appear to be dead people. The whole thing is rather strange. Michael Keaton (Much Ado About Nothing) plays a man who has recently lost his second wife, and longs for her all the time. 

He is visited by a man who says he has heard from her, and soon he becomes obsessed with the white noise signals that may hold remnants of his wife.

Soon, the messages he intercepts direct him down a bizarre path, and he finds many strange occurrences that all seemed to be linked to the white noise. He also befriends a few people who are into different things, but who all seem connected. His television is also haunted by the shadow of three strange beings.

Overall, a cryptic and shadowy movie, it doesn’t really do all that well with the suspense as it telegraphs all the scary parts, and also, it just doesn’t resolve enough, and you can’t make it out, you can’t figure out what is actually going on. On the whole, it’s just too mystical and not explained enough. 1, but a fine performance by Keaton.

Where the Wild Things Are

Max is not a happy boy. Picked on by his big sisters friends, ignored by his family, and needing a father very badly, Max is in sore need of friends. He raises trouble at home, and acts like a tyrant, desperately wanting to rule. It’s man’s will to dominate that rises up in him.

“Make me my food, woman.” He declares in front of his Mom’s new boyfriend. And then in the proceeding altercation, he bites his mother and breaks out of the house and runs down the street. Eventually he finds the boat, and heads for the land of the Wild Things. Basically from this point it covers the theme of the sketch, he threatens them when they want to eat him and tells them he hes special powers and they make him their king.

Then they build a fort, and they have a big party, and a dirt clod war. The whole imagination of it all makes it really phenomenal, but story of itself is so generalized and illustrates some interesting ideas about the problems in relationships. Overal, I found myself engaged, simply because I was waiting for something to happen which never did, and any reviewing would be superfluous. The one idea in all of this that really keeps it moving along is the vivid imagination of Max, and the power he brings to his own images by his presence.

I give this movie a 2 by the barest of margins. I really enjoyed it, but I wouldn’t really recommend it to anyone, unless they wanted to see a vision of pure imagination and comic genius. 

Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit

This is a must see for Wallace and Gromit fans, but on the whole, you could afford to leave it alone. From the creator of Wallace and Gromit and Chicken Run, this movie stay true to the formula, if not dragging it out a bit to achieve feature film length status.

Wallace, the amazing eccentric inventor is as it again, this time as a humane pest control man, protecting England’s gardens from the rabbit menace, yet not harming them, as they are so delightfully fluffy. He also seeks to rehabilitate them, and create a breed of rabbits that is no harm to the average citizen’s prize squash. And he’d also like to lose a few pounds as his cheese addiction fattens him through the roof.

Well, the solution and the problem to all this lie in a new and exciting invention, and some delightful sequences come out of this movie, and some really hilarious part, but, on the whole, the attempt to remake The Wrong Trousers is simply too formulaic, and the humor dwindles as Gromit’s role becomes much less funny.

Not a must see, but a valiant effort, and some vintage W & G, for sure. Sadly, a 1.

Paper Moon

Ryan O’Neal (What’s Up Doc?) stars as Con man Moses Pray, hawking Bibles specially engraved to the survivors of the recently deceased. Enter the adorable and troublesome little girl. Tatum O’Neal (Bad News Bears) plays the nine year old cigarette smoking orphan whose mother was a friend of Moses.

The two hit the road, and soon Moses realizes he has quite a little huckster for a sidekick. The adventures are truly grand, and this is a terribly well written script. The moments of tension are perfect, the chemistry of Tatum and Ryan (Real life Father and daughter) is awesome, and the dialogue is sharp, and well crafted for the 20’s era in which it takes place. 

Not much to say about this one, but it’s got a great heart and a great soul, and really brings the lead when it comes to character and being entertaining. 2.

Pi

Darren Aranofsky (The Fountain) shines in this, his first film. Max is a young mathematician searching desperately for a pattern to unlock the power and earning potential of the stock market. He’s a specialist in encryption and number theory. As he goes along he realizes that this task is not what he is learning, and instead finds that strange and sinister things are afoot.

A young jewish man he dines with tells him of Jewish numerology, and soon Max is brought before a counsel of Jews looking for the secret number that contains the naime of God.

In addition to this, there are many many strange things that occur. To unravel the secrets of pi, Max may lose his mind, or his life, or both. It’s an intense and mysterious film, but a tremendous job of story telling and movieship. 2.

Rebel without a Cause

This classic 50’s color flick is one of the first to really deal with life and not present it as the Leave it to Beaverish 50’s cheesecake factory.. James Dean debut’s as Jim Stark, a teenager without a care, who can’t stand his oppressive mother and benign, spoiling father, and who has a flare for living on the age, and is prone to yelling fits.

We follow him along with social introvert Plato and a beautiful girl as they are all in Juvenile hall, and then through school the next day. Jim runs afoul of Plato who latches on to him as he deals with the local punks and greasers. One of the toughs, Buzz, challenges him to a Chickee Race, and thendies as a result, and Jim must elude the police.

He then breaks into an abandoned mansion with Plato, and well, the story is a bit slow, but the dynamic element of it is the characters and the way they interact. The e;ements of rebellious nature that teens have, as well as the powerful display that they don’t always know why they do what they do, and the desire to be accepted, all comes through in glaring Technicolor. I give this movie a 2 for it’s resourcefulness and characters.

Starsky and Hutch

Well, making old TV into dumb humor flicks is probably not the most popular form of film, but this one works. Zoolander’s dynamic duo, Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller are amazing in their chemistry. They simply work well together, there’s really no other way to put it, and they perform the title role quite well. Vince Vaughn (Clay Pigeons) plays the evil crack dealer millionaire and his minion (Will Farrell, Anchorman) play some good evil amidst the justice enforcing cops.

The brightest star of all is of course, the incomparable Snoop Doggy Dogg, who plays the urban informant, Huggy Bear. Something about rappers, they just sing the dialogue so right, and so perfect. It’s hard to match, and is reminiscent of Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction. The meter and profundity of it all is quite excellent. Huggy quips words of wisdom at the end to Starsky, “Someone once said, ‘to err is human, to forgive divine.’” To which Starsky replies “What idiot said that?” to which Huggy answers, “I believe that was God, the greats Mack of all.”

Yeah, it might be cheesy and dumb, but these guys know funny, and that’s what counts. A 2, on par with Zoolander, Dodgeball, Anchorman, and Old School.

The Ice Storm

Another depressing slice of life insight into the darkness of human fallenness by renowned Hong Kong Director, Ang Lee (Brokeback Mountain). The Ice Storm is literal and figurative, as the world of a small Connecticut town freezes over during thanksgiving break, it’s citizens moral centers decline into the chaos, disrupting any sense of the small town static lifestyle.

An ensemble cast that features Kevin Kline (Dave), Sigourney Weaver (Alien), Tobey McGuire (Spider-man) and Elijah Wood (Lord of the Rings), we see each character begin to seek fulfillment. I think that that’s what all of Lee’s movies are about, about feeling cut off, and disconnected, and the loss inside trying to find a home with the external, and that only drives it towards an abysmal darkness of further loss.

Some of the scenes are bizarre and the character of the film reflects on the time period, as it is set in 1983, and the local news, which provides a back drop and ambient noise is concerning the Nixon affairs. The whole thing spells hollow, as in, the existances of these people are hollow, because they seek fulfillment in materialism, and various sins. They don’t want reality, and the minister’s character is confusing, but a back drop of German philosophy eliminates any hope there might be in the truth.

In the end, there is only an ever deepening sorrow that can unite a family, but only in this life, and only along the path that leads to destruction. A 2, but, don’t watch it alone.

Happy Feet

Well, this movie was anything but a dissapointment. Once again, the non-spoiler approach to making trailors rescued this movie. I had no idea what to expect, and as a result, I was very surprised, and patiently had to be learned in what the plot was doing and where it was going.

First of all, this movie is beautiful. CG is amazing, and it looks real. Literally. It looks like real penguins in the real arctic. And they mix it with live action humans, so that enhances it a bit.

In general, this is a fascinating movie about the lives of Emperor Penguins in Antarctica. It follows at first the life of Memphis (Hugh Jackman, Swordfish), a young honkeytonk Penguin, who woos his wife (Nicole Kidman, Legends of the Fall) by singing to her. He then guard the egg they make, but drops it in the snow. The whole scheme of the plot is beautifully narrated by Lovelace (Robin Williams, Bicentennial Man). And he establishes the penguin lifestyle and culture.

Soon, Mumbles (Elijah Wood, Lord of the Rings) is hatched and can’t sing a single note. He can dance like crazy though. It’s a little hard to visualize, because penguins don’t really have legs, and half of the fascination behind dancing is the leg movements.

Mumbles becomes an outcast, but is befriended by Ramone (also Williams) and his posse, who eventually journey to the distant shor in search of Aliens who they believe to be responsible for the lack of fish in the Arctic. It’s a laugh a minute, and really just brilliantly done. Come with no expectations, and come to a 2.

Groundhog Day

Phil (Bill Murray, Lost in Translation) is having a not so very good day. He’s pissed off, he’s out in pucksitawny, PA doing a story about the weatherman, a groundhog, who predicts the Winter’s lot each year on groundhog’s day. What Phil doesn’t realize is that he is supposed to get the day right. What exactly he’s supposed to do, he doesn’t know, but he relives the same day over and over and over again in hopes of finding out what he’s supposed to do.

Eventually he comes to a unique conclusion in an unforgettable scene. As he sits in the diner eating deserts aplenty, he turns to Rita (Andie McDowell, 4 Weddings and a Funeral), who he has been trying to romance unsuccessfully for hundreds of his days of groundhog’s day. “I’m a god.” Says Phil. And proceeds to show all that he has learned after hundreds of days in Puksitawny. 

It’s as though fate realized Phil had never matured, only grown older, and as he looks at all he has seen and all the people he has the chance to influence, he steadily puts together the ultimate day, and dedicates his time to doing what is right. It’s a charming story with Murray who is a one of a kind actor.

A classic, a 2, and surefire movie every February 3^rd.

Green Street

This is basically a cross between Snatch and Fight Club, and it works surprisingly well. Tom (Elijah Wood, The Good Son) has just been booted out of Harvard 2 months short of receiving his diploma. He’s got a very powerful roommate. With his dad covering the war in Afghanistan, he leaves for England to meet his sister, who is married to an Englishman.

What he finds is nothing at all he could have expected. His sisters brother in law is the leader of the East Ham football ‘Firm’. Which is basically a street gang that beats up on other ‘firms’ that support other football clubs. It’s actually quite absurd and ridiculous. But it’s relatively realistic.

So Tom falls in with Pete and his gang of soccer hooligans. He learns how to fight and learns how to make friends. He learns how to fight and make his own reputation. He helps them overcome the odds on several occasions, and they illustrate as a firm the importance of standing firm in the face of adversity.

There’s a great deal of fighting and gruesomeness…it’s all really well done, and the fight-cam action is very varied, and the artistry of the camera is quite noble. The story is rather touching, and there is a redemptive aspect to much of the subtext, and the idea of sacrifice for ultimate importance is a fascinating theme through out. 2. British Fight Club.

Eraser

This movie has everything you need. Arnold Schwarzenegger (Conan the Barbarian) plays a Witness Protection agent with a style all his own. He hides people where no one will ever even look for them, let alone find them. He’s known as the eraser, because he’ll erase your identity. He was taught well by his friend and mentor (James Caan, Godfather).

His newest project is an upper level executive (Vanessa Williams, Shaft) from a private arms manufacturer with government contracts who has just gotten in a little too deep and found out a little too much. During her evactuation, the team is assaulted by a high powered experimental weapon that uses x-ray technology and resembles a rail gun. After a botched mission, it’s revealed that Arnold’s boss is in bed with the crooked arms dealers, who are planning to sell the rail gun which was developed for a US Govt. contract to terrorists. 

Arnold calls in a host of his erased contacts after being doublecrossed, and goes to save the executive and then confront the bad guys. There’s actually some very enjoyable action sequences in this movie, and the rail gun is very effectively done. All the CG is expertly crafted including a giant man-eating alligator, and a falling without a parachute sequence. 

For entertainment value this is clearly a 2, and while it goes into the more brainless category, there is always something so redeeming and  so awesome about the characters Arnold Schwarzenegger plays. It’s a celebration of justice and strength in the face of adversity. It typifies in many was some of the virtues of man, and really calls to attention a major problem in the world, which is arms dealers. 

The rai gun really comes out so well in this movie. At one point, Arnold is crashing through buildings with a double rail gun set. It’s amazing. 

Escape from Los Angeles

In a low budget shot ‘em up, John Carpenter (Ghosts of Mars) re-invents the wheel and reintroduces a brand new generation to the gunslinger, outlaw, and all around bad ass, Snake Pliskin (Kurt Russell, Dark Blue), who prefers to be addressed as just ‘Snake’. This is one bad outlaw, and the U.S. has gone through some major changes since his act of redemption that brought him a full pardon and saved the former president (Escape from New York). 

Now the new U.S. has gone through major changes, including a catastrophic earthquake that separated Los Angeles from the mainland, and transformed it into the new Maximum Security Island Prison. The principle leader, and head of all the gangs is Cuervo Jones, another bad dude, and the U.S. is in real trouble.

Not only has Cuervo united the entire third world against the new Moral U.S. (All moral offenses are punished by a choice between banishment or death), but he has also seduced the presidents daughter into stealing and delivering a doomsday device that could shut down the entire free world.

Replete with the ongoing discussion of what true freedom is, along with Carpenters sadistic and amazing ability to fabricate future dystopian society, this movie packs a punch, and is pretty good for a clearly low budget flick. Cameo’s shine through like in all Carpenter’s works, including Steve Buschemi (Con Air), Peter Fonda (Easy Rider), Pam Greer (Coffy), and Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead).

What makes this movie a 2 is the ending. You just have to watch it. The last 20 minutes is pure gold, and quintessential Pliskin.

Death Race 2000

This is a hysterical, fun, and awful movie. It chronicles the fate of the earth in the year 2000, 20 years after the fall of society, and the rebuild which organized the US as a dictatorship under the President for Life. America’s chief means of appeasing the crowd is a bread and circuses event known as the “Transcontinental Road Race”.

This is, as it implies, a rally race across the continental U.S. The 5 combatants are all larger than life characters with themes that govern how they act, and the jokes they tell. Also, the navigator is always of the opposite gender so that the navigator and driver can have sex. Which only makes sense, right?

The two principle drivers who’s rivalry is the greatest are “Machine Gun” Joe (Sylvester Stallone, Rocky) who drives a modded mustang with two machine guns and a bowie knife mounted to the hood. His archenemy and crowd favorite, who is sponsored by the government is Frankenstein (David Carradine, Kill Bill). 

The thing that makes this ordinary sound race a death race is that the drivers are awarded points not only for order of finish, but for each successive kill they record by vehicular homicide. They get points for running people over. It’s simple as that.

There is of course a rebel organization that is fighting against the president, led by famed American Thomas Paine’s great granddaughter, Thomasina Paine. Can They triumph, or will the drivers wreak havoc? This is one of the most wretched movies ever, but for the shear horror, and the fact that joking about getting points for hitting pedestrians originated here, it’s the only 1 worth watching.

Corpse Bride

Tim Burton strikes again! Though I was a little disappointed with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Tim Burton (Dir. Big Fish) has avenged himself, and made amends. Corpse Bride is absolutely fabulous. Its art direction and claymation work is amazing, and really just beautiful. Some of the shots are incredibly intricate and beautifully crafted.

It’s the classic tale of the two sets of parents of unequal standing who have arranged a marriage between their children who don’t even know eachother. The whole thing gets fouled up when the boy can’t remember his vows, and splits, running off into the woods. Although he and the girl hit it off, he’s a mess, and while reciting his lines in the forest, he accidentally awakes a dead woman who was slain in the forest while waiting her secret fiancée.

The boy is whisked away to the underworld and sits in betrothal to his corpse Bride, all the while wishing he were in the place where he belongs, the land of the living.

In the end, it’s all resolved, and some absolutely hilarious visual humor as well as some delightful jokes, make Corpse Bride a winner. A 2, for sure, and I think it was even better than the Nightmare before Christmas, which is way good.

Yeah, you really have to see this movie.

City of Ember

This is really a fun childrens movie, featuring some Hollywood legends (Tim Robbins, Mystic River & Bill Murray, Caddyshack) in cameo rolls, while serving as a stage setter and platform for some incredibly talented young actors to get their big break.

Based on a popular novel, the plot centers around the underground city of ember which has existed ever since a catastrophic virus threatened the surface and all humanity. It has been a few centuries in ember, and things are starting to breakdown. They have sensed many of the problems, but with foot in short supply and power going in and out, the Emberites are beginning to fear the worst, and being simple people who can’t even read, fear is not good in a enclosed space.

The two young people are newly appointed in their occupations and must begin to unravel why everything isn’t working as well as it once did, against the wishes of Embers fat and lethargic mayor.

A great childrens themed movie that keeps it entertaining with colorful yet convincing aethetics and tetrrific performances, City of Ember is really a victorious effort in rretelling the classic struggle of humans to emerge from the darkness into the the light, and to live according to the way they were designed. The question and fire of the human spirit is brilliantly illuystrated in figuring out the riddles that lead the young people to the solution to free the people of ember and outwit the witless adults. 2, and a family movie for sure.

Citizen Kane

Well, this is definitely one of the finest, most innovative and original films of all time. Orson Welles (Touch of Evil) writes, directs, produces and stars in his blockbuster epic. It is a dramatic retelling of the mysterious and enigmatic Charles Foster Kane, a newspaper big wig and treasure buyer with a sordid past.

His last words, “Rosebud” seem to hold some clue, some mysterious key to the thread which ties his life together. Through a series of interviews, The reporter, Mr. Thompson attempts to open up the last chapter of Kane’s life, and uncover the mystery of Rosebud.

An unabashed look at human nature, and the reality of human desire. Kane is the archetype of fallen humanity, cast in the image of the American Dream. This tragedy is set against the backdrop of the roaring 20’s, and comes across very powerfully. 

Based on the life of William Randolph Hearst, a real life paper tycoon, there was a cover up of the film that didn’t last, as Welles made his opus here at the age of 26.

This isn’t going to be your favorite movie, but it is by far one of the best of all time, and another older movie that stands up to the hype and makes us ask for more. So good, so 2.

Breathless

This movie is definitely dated, but holds it’s own as a fun and adventurous movie with plenty of pop-culture mythology mixed in. Jesse Lujack (Richard Gere, Pretty Woman) is the man. He begins his quest for Mexico by running back to LA to pick up French architecture student Monica (Valery Kaprisky, ?). Lujack, aka Jesse Burns, aka Jack Burns, is a rebel, definitely a James Dean echo in his character, particularly when he ditches his old outfit for a fifty’s greaer look, with the most atrocious pants known to man.

Jesse is also a die-hard Silver Surfer fan, and much of the films inspiration and parallels to culture come through Jesse’s periodic consumption of a graphic novel featuring the surfer. It’s the classic set-up, a guy who can leave, he’s got everything telling him to leave, but, he’s got to stay, and he’s not even sure himself why.

Gere does a great job, and is reminiscient of Marlon Brando’s Wild One Johnny, and the dialogue is pretty engaging, as Gere goes about town trying to allocate his money, and keep monica in his life. 

Jim McBride directed it, and it provided some inspiration for Tarantino, so I checked it out, and Richard Gere has a lot of fun in this adventurous romantic comedy. There re two completely pointless sex scenes, but otherwise, it’s a good flick. 2.

Blowout

This is one of the movies that I got a recommendation from a famous directors, and I was surprised that the movie was so amateur. But it is about the filmmaking industry, specifically a sound man (John Travolta, Look Who’s Talking) who is out recording sounds for a new horro film, when he witnesses a car wreck. What he records is not a simple car wreck, he finds extra sounds which he believes to be a gunshor.

Kind of a mixture of a detective movie, thriller and some romantic elements thrown in and al romanticized and staged at the backdrop of a B-movie studio. There’s not a lot left to say about this, the plot is actually startlingly original and it really will engage a person who has a technical interest in movies, but the acting is flat, and really, Travolta got stuck playing a lot of earlier roles that were too straight up for him. He can’t relax and put some clever attitude into it, so it’s boring. 

There is nothing at all memorable about this movie, John Lithgow is also in this movie, but nearly the force that he is in other movies. Realistically, this movie is a 1, but it’s not all bad, and you might want to check it out, if it sounds interesting to you. 

Blood Brothers

I don’t even know who the actors were in this cheesy American Ninja-esque kung fu ice-capade. Two brothers, the Alexanders, Casey and William, are always engaging in rivalry. Casey, a successful CIA agent is often flaunting his money, and telling stories of his adventures. While Will runs a martial arts academy, and just sort of gets by. He resents his brother.

The death of their father, also a CIA agent, brings them together to discover the killer, and ultimately, to save the world, or something.

The kung fu is poorly choreographed and the actors are largely untrained. The villain is played by a man with platinum hair and a bad accent, which is regionless. Yeah, the plot isn’t the worst thing to come along, but it’s just absurd and ridiculous. In the end, the good guys triumph. There’s also a stupid girl that ends up getting involved.

Maddeningly predictable, I was forced to watch this 1 film on a bus in Zimbabwe.

Black Hawk Down

One of the most interesting war movies of all time, Black Hawk Down chronicles a sting operation by special forces officers in a middle eastern country. The focus of the action comes from a particular action 6 weeks into the sting in which they may have located the warlord they are searching for, and with the help of an urban informant, they go in for the strike. In the Process, one of the Black Hawk Support Choppers is gunned down, and in the entire operation, 19 men are killed.

The harshness and reality is blended beautifully with Tony Scott’s fabulous style, something I cannot get enough of. This and bold performances by Josh Hartnett (Hollywood Homicide), Tom Sizemore (Saving Private Ryan), and Ewan McGregor (A Life Less Ordinary) make this movie a great find.

It also provides a great insight to the brotherhood of the special forces, and the way in which the army conducts itself overseas. In all, this movie is a great corner piece to the tapestry of war set forth in movies. A 2, and easily rewatchable.

A Night at the Museum

This is a great and entertaining family friendly film. It follows Larry (Ben Stiller, Permanent Midnight), a down on his luck schemer who has hit a dead end and is losing the respect of his 10 year old son, Nick. When the going gets tough, the tough get a job, apparently. His nothing of a resume qualifies him for one position, and that is Night Watchman at the museum of natural history. 

Under the tutelage of Cecil (Dick Van Dyke, Mary Poppins), he is selected to take over for the old retiring guards, which include Mickey Rooney (Black Beauty). These guys are hilarious. Anyways, there’s something Larry learns on his first night of watch duty, and that is, that everything in the museum comes to life, literally, when the sun goes down.

Larry, thinking he’s lost his mind, is carefully informed by Teddy Roosevelt (Robin Williams, Bicentennial Man) how everything comes to life because of the power of a priceless Egyptian gold tablet. And as the night watchman, It’s Larry’s job to keep order. He runs into the miniatures, where a surly cowboy named Jed (Luke Wilson, Shanghai Nights), and a mischievous monkey named Dexter.  

In any case, it’s pretty funny, until the retired night watchmen turn out to be crooks who are going to steal the tablet for their retirment, and frame Larry for it. It’s a battle at the end, and Larry must pull it together and do this job the best that he has ever done anything. A definite 2, and wonderful for the whole family, really good, and absolutely classic Ben Stiller. He’s at his best, since probably, Mystery Men.

The Man From Snowy River

This is a charming film about a man from the Australian mountain country, Jim, who has lost both his parents to the elements of mountain living, his mother to illness and his father to an accident. He is now alone, except for his dusty old goldmining friend, Spur (Kirk Douglas, Sparticus) and his mountain trained mustang horse.

He goes down to the town and searches for work, but is out of luck, till he charms the young colt of a wealthy beef dealer (Also played by Douglas), the estranged brother of Spur, and lands himself a job as a ranch hand. In the process, he makes the awkward acquaintance of the beef dealers daughter, Jessica.

The two inevitably fall in love, albeit over some strange material, breaking the spirit of the wild colt, and fighting with eachother. Jim, a young man, comes of age and has many adventures that lead to him becoming the man from Snowy River. The ending is quite fitting, and lovely, and the romance is actually quite genuine between Jim and Jessica. Douglas is brilliant in a double role, and the other supporting characters are all very strong. Clancy, Curly, and Jessica’s aunt are all superb minor characters.

Jim is very strong and he’s played very strong, a man of character and strength, forged in the mountains. It makes me want to watch the sequel to this 2 movie. I’d watch it again with friends, in a heartbeat.

United 93

This was a fascinating documentary-esque exploration of the events of September 11^th, 2001. Noteably it takes an in depth look at the events surrounding the 4^th and final plane to crash, United Airlines flight 93. It takes a hard look at the nature of all the people involved, and it does an amazing work of drawing out some of the realities that were at work on that day.

It is casted with mostly all no name actors, and draws on the “everyman” card. Much of the dialogue is meaningless, if only to remind us how real the events of that day were and how the lives that it effected were not dissimilar from our own.

It’s also fairly even in it’s bias. I was pleasantly surprised by the light cast by the muslim extremists in the film, and the comments are fairly neutral. It’s an attempt to show the pain caused by that day, and how it struck everyone, not just those who lost their lives, and not just Americans.

We as humans are destroying ourselves, and this is another painful yet fulfilling reminder of how drastic the human condition, and the state of the world has become. It’s marvelously done, and features a fly on the wall, forced perspective, with a great deal of over editing to add to the confusion.

I’d give it a 2, and can’t wait for World Trace Center to come out.

Walk the Line

The finest movie of 2005, and top 100 all time has arrived. In his bravest and most hit or miss performance to date, Joaquin Pheonix (Gladiator) stars as the Man, Johnny Cash. One of the greatest and most unique musical acts of the 20^th century, Cash’s story is one of sorrow and redemption, and so it makes for a great movie.

A poor husband, and worse salesman, Cash took a chance and auditioned some of his more controversial songs, about prison and sad tales, at a record agency in the 50’s. The WWII Veteran hit it big and began to tour with the likes of Buddy Holly, Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis, June Carter (Reese Witherspoon, Cruel Intentions), and other Rock and Roll Spectacles.

The unique sound, the unique look (all black) and the unique man is one of the most amazing stories, as he descends into the rocker lifestyle, only love can draw him out, and June helps him see that he ought not to throw his life away. He returns to faith that had brought him up as a youth, and returns to doing things the way he had at first.

This movie is amazing, and I like it a lot. 2.

You Got Served

Okay, this movie is not exactly what you would call “up to snuff” as far as the plot or characters, or dialogue, or acting. It has some fun and playful dialogue, and the chief embarrassment comes from MTV talking head Mia, making a cameo as herself. The characters might not be real, and the tension and emotion might be horribly contrived, but this movie has one terrific thing going for it that will make me watch it again. These guys in the movie are straight players, and they can dance better than I ca even dream about dancing.

The moves in this movie are absolutely astounding. The Little Saint’s and Wades crew do a phenomenal job, as well as the other crews involved. This is quite simply off the hook. Guest dancers include Oscar, David Elsewhere, and loads of funky Chinese robot grooving Jiggaz who can move in crazy ways. This is the NFL of dancing. 

Li’l Kim also appears in this movie, just to show us that she has breasts. So, it may not be worth the watch, or expending the energy to follow the plot, but the last 25 minutes or so is SOLID GOLD soul train style funkadelic poppin and lockin. A 2.

Wing Commander

As a Wing Commander fan, of both the videogames and the cartoon series, I must admit, I had high expectations coming into this film, and knew that it was going to be a hit or miss type of occasion. Well, for the most part they missed. We join Maniac and Blair (Matthew Lillard, SLC Punk and Freddy Prinze Jr., Summer Catch) on route to the Tigre Claw (Not the spelling of tigre, and the fact that everyone in this movie except the two stars has british accents)

The earth forces are at war with the Kilrathi, a cat like race who is portrayed very well, very mysterious, and kinda crazy, very cunning and very hostile. These two wingmen have their adventures, and sometimes it feels like a remake of Top Gun in space, and Blair, who is a half blood pilgrim (like being black in the 60’s) soon falls in love with his C.O., Angel (Saffron Burrows, Troy) Hunter, Bossman, Paladin, and a host of other references to the Wing Commander tradition are present, but, over all, it’s a reather hollow and altered representation of the classic videogames.

The sideplots are somewhat irrelevant, and the space action is not as good as it could have been. Some effects stolen from the matrix were imported, but poorly done, and aside from Lillard’s performance, the movie in the whole, is really bad. Don’t see this movie unless you’re a wing commander fan, and even then, it’s a risk. 1, and goodbye.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Hunter S. Thompson is apparently some genius that uses a variety of drugs and then writes books while he’s high. A regular Jim Carroll, but he wrote a book by the same title as this movie, and here it is. It follows the journey of Raoul Duke (Johnny Depp, Benny & Joon) a reporter for a magazine who goes to Las Vegas to cover a motorcycle race. He is joined by his faithful legal assistant, Dr. Gonzo (Benicio Del Toro, Snatch) who provides a strange and silent paranoid counterpart to Depp’s Hyperactive schizophreniac.

They go to bars, diners and hotels all over Vegas, frightening the locals, abusing the help, and impressing the tourists. They do all sorts of drugs, from your garden variety alcohols, to mescalin, to raw ether, to adrenachrome, or straight human adrenaline. They have a very dramatic and vivid variety of hallucinations, including a bar full of lizards, and a horde of bats circling their car. 

The end is really all about America, and what makes a world the way it ought to be, and it gets pretty ridiculous, but for drug movies, this is definitely a winner, and a real tribute to the 60’s and 70’s, in the subject matter as well as the soundtrack.

Stars litter the screen in cameo’s, including Gary Busey, Christina Ricci, and Cameron Diaz. I give this movie a 2, just because it’s one of those movies you have to see, and you can say that you’ve seen it. It’s not as purposeful as Requiem for a Dream, and it’s not as raw as Trainspotting, and it’s not as silly as Half-baked, and it’s not as realistic as Basketball Diaries, but great performances and a witty edge on a strange plot makes this a winner.

Gross Pointe Blank

This is a feel good movie, which lots of rich dark comedy, and a very fun plot.

John Cusack stars as a Martin Blank, who works as a freelance professional killer, after having served his country as a military Assassin. His past is very dark, and cold blooded, and he struggles with his strange detachment from morality or lack of vision for wrong-doing.

After his latest job is botched by his nemesis, played by Dan Akroyd, who is also attempting to form a Professional Killer Union and wants Martin to either join or die, he screws up another job and in order to make it up to his employer, he must kill someone in his old hometown, which he fled the night of his senior prom, ditching his date, who was in love with him, and joinging the army.

The job happens to coincide with his 10 year high school reunion, being promoted by his date turned disc Jockey, played by  Mini Driver. The whole time he is being trailed by 2 government spooks, (Hank Azaria and someone else), who intend to kill him when he attempts to do the job.

He goes back to his leading lady, who embarrases him on the radio, and then proceeds to re-investigate his old hometown. Running into old high school friends and teachers, who were dismayed at his disappearing act. The satire here is excellent, and everyone chuckles lightly as Martin casually says he is a professional killer. Jeremy Piven makes a great little cameo too, as his loser high school buddy.

The idea of never being able to go home comes through loud and clear. Allen Arkin makes another cameo as his therapist who is scared to death of him. Akroyd plays a great sadist, and Cusack himself gives a great performance as a guy who isn’t sure what he’s become, but wants to finally reconnect with reality and the way life might have been. The climactic battle is something to enjoy as well. A great 2 of a movie.

Hero

This movie is beautiful. It’s just an amazing thing to look at. If this movie had no sound at all. I would still watch it. It’s the kind of movie that you could take most still shots from it, and frame them and put them on your wall. Glorious.

We enter into feudal china, divided into 7 different regions with different warlords controlling each area. They are a mess, and the barbarian hordes are eating them alive. Literally. We meet a young man with no name (Jet Li, Lethal Weapon 4) who is one of the greatest assassins in the world. He has proven this to the king of Qin by killing the three most famous assassins in the land, and men who the King feared so much that he lived in isolation, 100 paces from all human beings, in a suit of armor.

The movie consists of the king interviewing his would be saviour, and learning the true nature of the man he has invited to draw nearer to him than any man has in years.

It’s a twisted cat and mouse game of contrast and recounting flashbacks which are spun by both speakers. The colors and the symbolism is rich, and full of beauty.

The style switches back and forth from classical, modern style and dreamlike flying style, and then many in between. The story is also rich. Incidently, this is like a hall of fame movie for Chinese actors, though many Americans would not know.

A definite 2 and well worth owning a copy.

Just Like Heaven

Reese Witherspoon (Walk the Line) Stars as Elizabeth, a busybody go get ‘em Doctor, entirely career oriented, with no mind for relationships. One a fateful night, she receives the biggest promotion of her career, and is on the way to meet a friend to be set up with a guy, when she is smashed into oblivion by a mack truck.

2 months later, A young man (Mark Ruffalo) who suffers from depression is looking for a secluded apartment. He finds nothing he likes, save for a strange one that has been recently sublet, and had not gone out. He rents the apartment, only to find that it is haunted by the ghost of it’s previous tenant, Elizabeth.

The young man tries many different means of unhaunting his new apartment, eventually turning to a paranormal book store clerk who has some strange gifts (John Heder, Napoleon Dynamite). Through his advice, and a few adventures with Elizabeth, the two eventually become friends, in unlikely circumstances.

The climactic end trails Elizabeths body, comatose, as the two fight to bring her back to the real world, and fall in love. It’s a pretty awesome flick for a chick flick, and as unlikely as the conclusion is, it’s a little heartwarming. I definitely felt for the main characters both, two people that don’t want to fall in love, but fate says otherwise. 2.

Kickboxer

One of the classic Jon-Claude Van Damme (Lionheart) Movies, this is the story of 2 brothers who find themselves united in Thailand. They are there to see one, an American, compete in the Moi Thai Kickboxing Championship. His opponent is the strange and intimidating Tong Po. With scars and Tattoos, and strength unlimited, Tong Po makes quick work of the American and ultimately paralyzes him.

His Brother, a European (Van Damme) quickly sets off on the path to revenge. He seeks an instructor who can help him master Moi Thai Kickboxing. After a long time, and many adventures, including dance-fighting his way through 20 armed men while staggeringly drunk, He arrives at his final battle against the fearsome Tong Po.

Though rather predictable and shameless in how filthy it is, This movie has a certain charm to it, taking a tip from Bloodsport, it carries much of the comedy and skill that that movie does. The final fight scene, fought in a traditional Moi Thai Ring with gloves made out of broken glass is also quite classic, and truly fascinating.

The art of the movie leaves something to lack, as does the acting, and many of the ideas. The fighting is pretty classic Van Damme, from the first stage in his career. I’de give it a 2, really, but it’s worth adding if you’re a fan of the genre, you can appreciate it, many others could not. There’s a change that happens somewhere around the time of Lionheart in the style and character of Van Damme’s movies.

Mystic River

This is a story of three boys who have grown up on the north side of Boston’s Mystic river. When they were kids, they were caught defacing cement by a man who abducted one of them, and placed him in a cellar to be repeatedly molested.

30 years later we see where and how they have landed. Dave (Tim Robbins, Cadillac Man), the one who was abducted, is married with a kid, and daily tries to forget the pain of his past. Jimmy (Shawn Penn, I am Sam), is a turned straight hoodlum with a family and a store, and a 19 year old daughter of ominous portent. Sean (Kevin Bacon, A Few Good Men) is a police detective who happens to get the call when Jimmy’s daughter turns up dead after a night on the town. He along with his partner (Laurence Fischburn, Boys in the Hood) are determined to unwind the mystery before Jimmy and his brother-in-laws take vigilante justice.

The way that the story envelopes these three men, and really the entire community, and buries much of the past while revealing a great deal about the character of each man is a very good trademark of director Clint Eastwood (Dir. Million Dollar Baby) and shows the sickness that lies within men’s hearts…the need for salvation, even if one can overcome the world’s societal norms.

It’s a brilliant and tragic story of love gone wrong and hate stirred to a frenzy, mixed with the Boston backdrop, and served on the rocks. Brilliant 2, encore.

No Country for Old Men

It’s hard to believe that this movie won Best Picture. While I enjoyed it, and it was a fascinating exploration of humanity set against the desires that drive us, and I must admit it was a break out performance for almost everyone involved, there were a lot of things about it that just didn’t make sense. The plot itself, had a difficult story arc to really follow, and it seemed incredibly unreal, and painfully slow.

It basically follows a cowboy who happens upon a drug deal gone bad. He takes the money, but inexplicably goes back hours late to aid those who had not yet died. He of course is cornered by those who had been paid to clean up the mess, and is pursued across Texas by a complete psycho who is a sociopathic killer.

This killer is himself pursued by sherrifs including a crazed marshall (Woody Harrelson, White Men Can’t Jump). This is actually a pretty epic middle section which features a cat and mouse game between the hunter and the hunted and the hunter-hunters. It’s a pretty fascinating examination of the human psyche, and how even in as late as the 1970’s, the elements of the old west had not gotten better, in old age, men did not see utopia come to fruition, but rather the world darken and flicker as the bad guys got worse.

Life is harsh, and crazy. So is this movie, but I haven’t really wanted to say it’s 2, but it really is…just not Best picture. Roger Ebert famously said that some years there are no best pictures and some years there are ten best pictures. This was one of those years.

Remember the Titans

This is a great great movie. Based on a true story, it focuses on a high school football team that is part of the first desegregated school in South Carolina. To make a bold move, the school board has decided to demote their hall of fame coach, and replace him with a Black Coach of the similar caliber. Herman Boone (Denzel Washington, The Pelican Brief) is the new coach.

From there, he goes on to unite a mixed race team, and discipline them into an amazing, undefeated football team. It’s actually pretty predictable, and it’s really emotional and sappy, but the mix of humor and seriousness, and the portrayals of both racism and the search for equality are amazing.

The team is made up of a bunch of young actors that do an amazing job. It’s a likeable crew, and really stands out. It’s a great family film, and really deals with the issues that are still at the core of America’s problems, even today. 2. One of the best Disney films ever.

Platoon

This is a fascinating fact about Vietnam war movies, of which I have watched several. It seems like the less accurate they are, the more acclaimed they become. The stupider the movie, the more Hollywood likes it, and really that’s to their liking, since the less accurate, the more it indicts the government and the war itself, even though its meaningless, and doesn’t accomplish anything but defaming the legacy or perfectly respectable veterans alongside the shameful ones.

This is basically an exploration of what it’s like to be in Vietnam through the eyes of a fresh private (Charlie Sheen, Money Talks) as he deals with the conflicts within his battalion between company leaders and the general nightmare situations which are the scene of war. 

The plot is meant to feel excruciating to simulate the circumstances of war, and the futility in which the army was supposedly engineered. I think Forest Gump is a better Vietnam movie, frankly, and I think this movie is ridiculous. I think there were a lot of mistakes in Vietnam, but the exaggerations are all that Platoon portrays, The performances of Sheen, and Willem Defoe (The Life Aquatic with Steve Zisou) are really spellbinding, but the purpose of the film just detracts so much from the quality of it’s production. 

I have to give this movie a 2, because it’s a must see, but you wont’ be happy after you watch it, and I wish I could give it a 1. I usually like stuff from Oliver Stone (Dir. Natural Born Killers) but this one, supposedly his masterwork, is kind of discgraceful. 

The fugitive

This is the retelling of the classic Television series featuring Raymond Burr (Perry Mason) which told the story of Dr. Richard Kimball (Harrison Ford, Witness), a surgeon who was framed for murder by a mysterious one armed man, and shortly after his conviction, he escapes in order to put all the missing pieces right and figure out who framed him and why.

Meanwhile, as he traverses Chicago looking for answers, the Illinois Marshalls led by Tommy Lee Jones (Under Siege) who will stop at nothing to bring Kimball to justice, while at the same time they attempt to unravel the mystery he gradually uncovers of who truly killed his wife.

This is a class movie, the kind you grow up seeing and it sticks with you. Great performances, a tremendous plot, and lots of fun and different plot devices draw this movie out expertly and secure it’s 2-ness at any cost.

Great flick.

The Simpsons Movie

This movie is hysterical. This is a 2. I don’t think you can really go wrong with the Simpsons which is the only television show I watch on a consistent basis. The Simpsons is just the perfect entertainment family.

The plot follows Homer as he turns his back on Springfield, which is infested with demons after Lake Springfield became toxically polluted. This too was Homer’s fault. He moves the whole Simpson’s team to Alaska where they live in a charming cabin and exist in the arctic wonderland of beauty.

The President’s plans to eradicate Springfield bring the Simpsons, now fugitives, back to Springfield, in order to warn their neighbors. They of course are greeted with a villains welcome until the missiles start flying. Can Bart and Homer redeem themselves and make amends meet and save Springfield from certain destruction.

In any case, The Simpsons is always delightful with plenty of satire, making fun of people, visual gags, and the spice of variety that makes every episode of the Simpsons rife with wit and hilarity. 2. 2. 2. !

The Spirit

This is a fantastic new comic-book movie, which I am partial to anyway, but this really a triumph in a lot of ways. In a town overrun by crime, only one force stands up against it, a man who is apparently indestructible, and who feels a deep tie to the heart of the city. His nemesis, The Octopus (Samuel L. Jackson, True Romance) is the same, and they could thrash eachother for hours, but the Octopus is looking to get the advantage by securing an ancient relic of strength.

Meanwhile, the Spirits old squeeze, Sand Seraph (Rosario Dawson, 7 Pounds) is also back in town for a rare relic, and The Spirit is caught in the middle. The noir chronicle is set against a beautiful aesthetic and comic style in the vein of Frank Miller (Prod. Sin City, 300) and follows a hilarious plot that is brought out by some amazing performances.

Jackson is phenomenal as he does the great comic villain, and his assistant played by Scarlet Johannsen (The Island) is another terrific perormance. The plot itself, like many comic book movies is told in an “insider” style, where, a person unfamiliar with the story might not be able to follow it, or catch all the subtleties.

This is a primo movie on story and aesthetic and you can’t miss Jackson. 2.

Shaun of the Dead

Well, despite it’s amateur and ridiculous appearance in trailors, I quite enjoyed this extremely british comedy tribute to the zombie thriller. While 28 days Later is probably the best zombie movie of all time, this is definitely a worthy adaptation to spoofery.

Shaun is a dead end guy in a dead end job with a dead end girlfriend and dead end friends, spending every evening in the same dead end beer dive joint. He goes through the same routine and everything. It’s hilarious to me, because the first half hour is so ridiculously british. It has zombie thriller suspence, but at it’s heart it is simply an episode of Black Adder or M.P.

The actual interaction with zombies is when it gets good, complete with overly disgusting gore ala Dead Alive, and a hilarious musical number with the beating of a bartender zombie in unison with flashing lights and music, almost like a jetta commercial.

Overall, it’s hilarious with a great ending, and fun likeable british characters. A 2 for sure, but probably not worth owning.

Troy

An epic in visual and technical excellence, Troy is an elegantly done representation of the Iliad by Homer. Starring Brad Pitt, Eric Bana and Orlando Bloom, this depicts the unification of Greece, the altercation and eventual sacking of Troy in very graphic detail. Even as I watched I noticed many details which most viewers would neglect that added to the authenticity of this legendary battle.

The Theme of honor runs rich in the veins of this movie, and is drawn out in the life of every noteworthy character, particularly the legendary and invulnerable Achilles. In addition, the hand of fate, a prominent western-greek concept has a powerful representation. Much like Gladiator, this movie blends the philosophical worldview of the ancient world with tremendous action sequences, and shines forth as a great, great movie. Easily a 2 and worth seeing again.

It follows the traditional story of the Iliad, as Agamemnon unites all Greece under Athens, Menelaus, the king of Sparta is betrayed by his wife and Paris the Prince of Troy. Agamemnon goes to war for his brothers wife, but all the more so to conquer Troy. With all the kings of Greece, including Odysseus and Achilles, and Ajax, they show up and storm the city of Troy. Though the poem lasts 10 years or so, the actual war takes about 2 weeks in the movie. It features many authentic battle tactics and great sequences, as well as many well played performances, though much of Brad Pitt’s becomes hammy. 

Surprising is Orlando Blooms portrayal of Paris, who, despite his starlight history in movies, comes off very well as the sniveling brat, in no way admirable. Go see this movie, and watch it with your friends.

Star Trek

The tagline says it all, “This is not your dad’s Star Trek”. This is the latest in a series of retcon origin movies, beginning with Batman and Bond, and now Kirk is being reimagined at the hand of J. J. Abrahms (Prod. Cloverfield) We begin in the past where a timespace anomaly has allowed a ship from the future of romulan origin to come and attack various ships, captained by the sadistic and callous Nero (Eric Bana, Troy).

The backstory and ensuing Redirection of space time sees James T Kirk left fatherless at as an infant. Rather than growing up in Starfleet, he grows up on earth, and becomes a brawler, boozer, and go nowhere drifter, until the caring Captain Pike take young Kirk aside and asks him to join the Fleet. On the way to Star Fleet academy, he meets Bones and Uhura, with mixed results.

Later in the academy, he cheats his way through a simulation, who’s graduate overseer is Spock. At that exact moment, a crisis calls all available man to their ships and sees Kirk brought aboard the Enterprise along with the gang. Nero attacks and the ensuing battle and power struggle aboard the enterprise are some vintage reworking of a classic story told in space.

The Actors get an A+, the effects are gorgeous, the plot itself takes a few twists and turns but really it’s a solid retcon to create a new fabric of tales of the 5 year voyage of the USS Enterprise to boldly go where no man has gone before. A 2, looking out for the sequels.

Sin City

This is probably one of the smoothest, most vivid and most captivating transfer of one form of media into another. Frank Miller’s Sin City is a graphic novel describing crime noir elements of a city, and Robert Rodriguez (Dir. Spy Kids) has transformed it into a stunning and beautiful film, with the assistance of guest director Quentin Tarantino (Dir. Kill Bill). The mood is dark, and the characters are all harrowing.

This movie brings along the Tarantinian hallmark of slanted moral rules. The ethical background of this scenario is very telling, as is the formula, which like Pulp Fiction, features a story of some length divided into two parts with the other two stories taking place chronologically afterwards, but sequentially placed in the middle, as well as short introductory scene which is incorporated into the conclusion.

There are three specific stories and all revolve and relate to a Bar where a girl named Nancy (Jessica Alba, Fantastic Four) strips and another girl is the waitress. The first story follows a straight cop (Bruce Willis, The 6^th Sense) and his pursuit of a horrible pervert and rapist who also happens to be the son of a senator. He saves Nancy as a little girl, and he finds her when she has grown up, and well, there’s a lot to the story. 

The Second story of Marv (Mickey Rourke), and bruising berzerker who sleeps with a hooker named Goldie and awakes to find her dead, and himself framed for the murder. He traces the deed all the way to the pinnacle of power in sin city. The third story is about a murderer (Clive Owen, Closer) who sets out to stop a dangerous psychopath  (Benicio Del Toro, The Usual Suspects) before her hurts the whores of old town. All three stories are over the top in terms of ultraviolence and ultra-realism, and fall far into the absurd. The themes of decency, moral uprightness, and doing the right thing, a noble death are crammed in between some very depressing and disturbing subject matter. A 2, and great viewing if you’ve seen Pulp Fiction.

Snakes on a Plane

This is without a doubt one of the best titles a movie could possibly have. Snakes on a Plane is what oculd only be a trbute movie to cheesy b thriller movies. And it sells. It’s even popular in South Africa. This is the story of a man who witnesses a murder by the hands of a gangster. He is soon apprehended by the Feds, and put in the protection of a seasoned veteran (Samuel L. Jackson, Coming to America) 

He is put in secret on a commercial jet, rather than on the police jet which would have been tipped by crooked cops. The bad guy comes up with a diabolical plan to thwart the feds, as he places a case of the worlds mozt exotic snakes on the plane and smothers the welcome lays worn by every passenger in a pherimone that will enrage the deadly snakes.

Soon they go nuts and tear the plane apart, and everyone has a terrible peril. It’s Kinda funny, and kinda sick. It’s a typical B-horror movie, and in the end it’s all good, and the guys get the girls. Plus you get to hear Samuel L. Jackson swear a lot, and yell at people, and shoot people, which is what people really want to see.

With a few notable guest appearances, this is by far a cheeseball, and actually worth seeing, just to make reference to the title in conversation. 2.